what I want

I am trying to think of what I have loved about my previous jobs. I am trying to remember what made me happy and what I loathed. I am trying to remember why I got my degree in Education and English in the first place and what it is that drew me into youth work and writing. I am trying to find a career that encompasses all of my passions but does not drain me of my soul. I like getting up early, heading to work and heading out early in the afternoon to enjoy my life. I am great at what I do and I want a job that will help me fine tune my skills and will be greatful for what I bring to the table. I want something challenging but not defeating. Fun, but not too lax. Busy, but not so busy I can never feel accomplished. I want to work with youth, but be challenged mentally as well. I want to continue learning. I want to find the perfect job...

Clean water and flying garbage

I took a shower tonight

that was preceded by a bath

then I brushed my teeth and had a glass of water

A well with the spigot the size of the faucet in my kitchen sink,

was just installed in a small village in Uganda

A one thousand dollar gift from Bono and Chris Tucker,

It is used by a community of hundreds

And women may walk ten miles to collect the fresh water

I let my water run as I brushed my teeth

In Uganda, children want to come to school, even on the holidays

When clean water became available, attendance tripled

Because illnesses like Cholera, Malaria and Typhoid Fever declined

The children want to learn

They yearn to be healthy enough to walk miles to class

HIV positive women raise children hoping they can give their children everything,

except the disease

They make memory books of thoughts and pictures to pass on when the virus takes over

Their children are like hospice workers

Kids may sleep six to a bed, one on top of the other

They dance and sing outside the huts made from sheets of tin and old wood

These young happy faces make their own kites

from sticks, discarded paper and pieces of string

And they run down rough, dirt roads barefoot,

laughing as the kites soar

I should no longer want for anything

I too should simply be happy,

Smiling at clean water and flying garbage

Innocence --- a poem

Even love was scarce, appearing only sometimes

times when light bulbs and soda cans were mangled into make shift pipes

when eyes were red and nights were long

This love came only when mom was happy and high

But withdrawal would creep in and steal the food,

his shoes,

his backpack,

his video games, toys, basketball cards

and anything else that could be sold

Addiction brought new faces to his home throughout the night

banging on the doors introduced 9mm hand guns,

gold-toothed thugs,

dirty money,

burnt fingertips,

weary arms full of tracks,

and women who had nothing left to sell -- but themselves

His innocence tainted, as he peered at the nightly routine,

flames stemming from fingertips held up to lips,

dreams evaporating into the chilled air of day two without heat,

black guns placed on his kitchen table,

stacks of filthy cash bundled and set out for admiration,

plastic-wrapped off-white rocks, gleaming like diamonds, teasing and tempting

curse words streaming steadily out of ignorant mouths and continuing up to meet his

young ears,

at the top of the stairs,

where he hid –

crouched.

Strangers with nightmarish faces,

with their tough, empty, beady yellow eyes,

woke him from his sleep,

kicked him out of his bed when they were tired.

Women used his bed when they were broke

They took over and made their money

beside his Michael Jordan poster and his recently robbed piggy bank.

The men offered him money sometimes,

to hurry him, half-sleeping, out of the room,

He accepted, thinking he won

At age eleven, he slept on a tattered and stained couch

in a dark and dank basement, alone

except for the sounds of the welcomed intruders above,

the roaches scurrying across the floor,

and the persistent growling of his empty stomach.

Finally

So I guess, in some subconscious part of my mind, I have been delaying adding another post until I had proof that someone would one day read them. And the day has come. Someone read and commented on my last post which expressed my concern that I was writing for an audience that did not exist. So thanks 6five.... ;) Even if it's just one person, every once in a blue moon who happens to cross my page, I will feel like I am writing for a reason. Today I am at work, as usual, and I contemplating my career path and where I am headed... And since my photo is all over this page, I won't get too much into detail about my job and my issues, but if you want to email me, I will open up. For now, let's just say I am debating my needs vs. wants and trying to figure out what path to pursue. I have a degree that I am not using, and trying to figure out how I can use my brain more for work...